Practical & Conscientious Parenting
Archive for September, 2009
Parental Multitasking Cloud
15 years
I read an article at Wired.com recently about how multitasking muddles the brain (full article). Studies have shown that people who frequently multitask do poorer on test that require their full attention. Well, I’m starting to feel the affects of the parental multitasking cloud that I’ve been walking in for the past 7 weeks. Everywhere I go, I feel like I’m showing up half-dressed and late.
Even at home, I find myself walking urgently up to my computer, pausing while I try to remember what I needed to do so urgently, then remembering that I was really walking over to get my shoes because I need to go outside and turn the sprinkler on, but I remembered I wanted to look for sound protection ear muffs for Edie, which I had already decided I would look for after I started the sprinkler, but I then forgot that I had decided to do sprinkler then internet, which is why I’m standing in front of the computer.
It’s like I have about a 10 second window on either side of :now: that my brain can take in and process. Anything further away than that takes extreme concentration. Tonight when we were getting ready for bed, I changed Edie’s diaper and put her in bed with Ashley to nurse. Then I turned around and saw the container we keep our baby wipes in and thought “Oh, no! I forgot to use a wipe!” Which, of course, wasn’t true. It had just been more than 10 seconds since I had changed Edie’s diaper, so I had forgotten.
Stay at Home Dad
15 years
We just got back from a trip to Oregon to visit our families and friends. The trip was a lot of fun, if a little whirl-windy, and we managed to see just about everyone. Most people wanted to know what our plans were, with Ashley being in medical school and all.
Ashley and I have talked a lot about what the next year is going to look like for us. Ashley is taking this fall off to be at home with Edith, and she’ll start back part time in the spring. This time next year, she’ll be a full time med student again. Since most of my work is done at home, my schedule is going to be a little more fluid. I’m going to try to work as much as I can this fall to get my business at a steady level. In the spring, I’ll have to adjust my hours down a little bit, and come next fall, I don’t know how things will look. It all depends on how all of us feel.
Anyway, the thing is I noticed a weird reaction in myself as I would explain this to people. I’m really excited about being a stay at home dad. I’m going to love it. But some part of me feels a little guilty about it. As much as I try to celebrate gender equality, I grew up with the mentality that a man should do everything he can to provide for his family. So maybe it’s because we don’t have a lot of money to begin with, and I feel like I should be working more anyway.
There was a way I wasn’t comfortable telling people that I’m going to be a stay at home dad. Stay at home moms have done a great job informing people of the importance of their work. But as a dad, I felt like I needed to be doing more. I was really glad that I have my web work that I could tell people I would continue doing. And it shouldn’t matter. There’s a good chance I’ll be too busy when Ashley’s back in school full time. What I don’t like is that I’m somehow pressuring myself already to do more, to be a super dad. But I don’t want to miss Edie’s first years out of guilt or some perceived male responsibility.
So that’s my work for the fall. I’m celebrating and anticipating being a stay at home dad.
Cameras and Memories
15 years
by Anne
in On Education
I was just checking some email messages, scanning past the local homeschool group posts I still subscribe to but rarely check anymore. (We homeschooled for Mehalia’s second year of preschool, and kindergarten, but switched to a public elementary in first grade.) I saw the name of one of my favorite friends, and noticed that she has been writing an unschooling blog.
It reminded me of all the fun experiences that we haven’t documented in any way, that now exist only in our minds. And I felt kind of sad and thought, “I need to get a good camera on my phone so I take more pictures and they’re easy to put on my computer and share with people.”
Then I remembered other times when I’ve been recording something and felt like I missed out on the real experience. Maybe I need a tripod and a timer too….
Homemade Playdough
15 years
I thought I had missed my chance for a treasured childhood memory, having never made playdough with Mehalia. Tonight I needed to make some for my preschool class, so I invited her to help. She was of course delighted, as she always is whenever there is mixing and pouring to be done.
The recipe we used was 4 cups each flour and water, 1 cup salt, and 4 tbls. oil. It was supposed to have 1/2 c. cream of tarter too, which I didn’t have, and then saw that I could substitute 1/4 c. each baking powder and baking soda. We’re in the middle of moving, and despite my attempts to clearly label boxes with detailed contents, I couldn’t find those ingredients either.
So we did without – it appears to be fine. It was so awesome to see, and smell, the gooey glop turn into playdough before my eyes. (After mixing the ingredients in a big pot, we just heated it up on low, stirring often until it thickened.) It didn’t make nearly as much as I thought it would, so I ended up making a second batch, this time doubled. It was so warm and soft when it finished. I’m really happy I finally tackled one of the things I considered an essential element of childhood.
PS – By the next morning, the second batch had “melted” into a sticky mess, so maybe those missing ingredients were important after all. I tried adding sand since I was using it to make shell prints, but it just got even grosser. Oh well, the treasured memory remains in the creation process, and I’m sure we’ll need some again at some point so I’ll get to perfect my recipe.