Guess How Much
Practical & Conscientious Parenting
Staying On Task
15 years
Part of the web work I do is for a company my mom works for called Wings Seminars in Eugene, Oregon. I’m a very strong advocate for the work they do, which is personal development seminars. I’ve had a very supportive family growing up, and I’ve always felt that I am capable of living the life I want to live because I have a such a strong support network. But being capable doesn’t mean that my actions always reflect my values. One of the things I’ve appreciated about the training I’ve participated in at Wings Seminars is the group interactions, which support me in being accountable for my actions.
Since I’ve started blogging, I’ve felt a similar sort of support in being accountable for how I show up as a parent. Taking the time to write about the decisions I make as a parent helps me reflect on my choices as a parent, and stay aligned with my beliefs and values. I find it’s helping me stay on task with what I want to do with my life as well. When I think about what I can write about that will hold some interest for any readers out there, I remember that I want to live a life that I enjoy writing about. Writing supports me in living the life I want to write about.
The Non Gestational Parent
15 years
Several people have asked me what it’s like for me, particularly when the topic of breastfeeding comes up. I think Edie is just now coming to the age where she’s starting to comfort nurse, but until now (at least from my observations) it’s been mainly about filling her little belly. And at times, I’ve really wished that I could breastfeed, but just in order to take care of her needs, the same as laying down with her to help her sleep or holding her if she’s crying. Plus, after watching Ashley deal with the initial discomfort of breastfeeding, I’m very appreciative towards her that I’m not the one who had to get it figured out.
Ashley turned me on to Totally Smitten Mama, a thoughtful and playful mama blog. She had a really great post recently called Not-the-Mama, where she talks about her experience as a non-gestational parent (NGP). She talks about it with a lot of perspective, having been the gestational parent for her first three boys. The part that really struck a cord with me, the part that I truly identified with was when she wrote:
[F]or every Not-the-Mama! moment, there is an equal and opposite moment–a hug or a love-filled grin from the baby–that feels somehow more special for the fact that our relationship is lacking in biological connection. Because I am his mother not because I gestated him or birthed him, but simply because I’ve mothered him. I’ve had to work to deserve the title of Leo’s mom. And I’ve earned it.
When Edie smiles at me, gets really excited when I walk into the room, or reaches for me when I go to pick her up, I know it’s because she takes comfort in me, my familiarity, and my safety. I may get a little more jealous as she gets more into the connection of breastfeeding, but for now I know I provide Edie with so many things, and I feel it every time she smiles at me.
Kelty Kids jogging stroller
All set to go
The weather is finally getting warmer here, and I’m getting restless and ready to be outside more. Anne and Ben lent us their Kelty Kids jogging stroller, and the other day I decided to make sure it was ready for a run with Edie. Of course, all three tires were flat. I used it a few times last fall, and all three tires had goatheads in them (if you don’t know about goatheads or puncturevine, be very thankful – you can see a picture here).
After applying five patches and still having the rear tires go flat, I decided I needed to get some reinforced tubes, like what I have on my bike. The local bike shop is only a few blocks away, so I walked over and talked to the owner for a bit. I figured I’d get reinforced tubes, tube liners, and fill the tubes with goop, but he suggested getting flat-free tires, which I didn’t even know they made for bikes! The idea of never having to worry about flats on the stroller, combined with the fact that it was only going to be about $5 more a tire, was all I needed.
The tires were probably the toughest tires to put on the rims that I have ever dealt with, but that’s a good thing, because it means they won’t wobble at all. The guy at the bike shop said that solid tires aren’t the best for bikes, because there’s a danger that the tire will pop off the rim if you take a corner really fast. Fortunately, I don’t run quite that fast.
I was concerned that it would make for a bumpier ride, but they have about as much give as a properly inflated tire, so I don’t think it’s much different.
All in all, I’d have to say these are one of the best purchases I’ve made in a while, for the peace of mind if nothing else.
The Importance of Children’s Bookstores
We just stopped by our local children’s bookstore Out On A Whim today. That place is magical. There are murals on the wall, there’s a craft room with a bunch of tables, it has a big painted plaster tree in one room, there are stuffed animals and instruments to play with – it’s just great. The first time I went there, Ashley was still pregnant. I asked the owner the store about story times, because I had heard they did a few story times every day. She replied, “Yes, we do story times 10:30, 2 and 4. But if there are children here at other times that want to hear a story, I’ll read to them.” How great is that?!
Today, I took Edie over to a carpeted spot where there were some drums and tambourines. We sat down and started playing, and the owner came over and turned on a bubble machine above Edie’s head. All of a sudden, Edie was surrounded by bubbles slowly floating down, and she just looked awestruck. Later, another boy there asked for a story, and sure enough, she sat down and read Please, Mr. Crocodile to him, Edie and another little girl.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Yakima has a lot of great things to offer, especially outside. But it also feels like a hole sometimes. So finding this kind of place here is just amazing. I thought more about it on the way home, and I think providing such a magical, wondrous place for children to learn about reading is a great gift. And it’s something that larger bookstores just don’t do. Even in other independent bookstores that I like going to, the children’s sections sometimes have a few decorations, but nothing close to Out On A Whim.
We are very lucky to have such a gem so close to us.